The wedding Monster


The wedding monster is a well known phenomenon that happens to most (politically incorrect to say all) of the brides to be around the world. The different names to it includes bridezilla, the bride thing (think swamp thing) etc. Personally I just call it the wedding monster. For the uninitiated grooms, I will attempt to describe the great peril you are in, and how you can attempt to stay ALIVE!!

Wedding Monster

What exactly is the Wedding Monster?

The wedding Monster is a mysterious phenomenon. It appears innocuously, slowly but surely taking over the once sweet and submissive gal of yours (assuming she wasn’t already a monster). The wedding monster is a creature that does nothing but eat, sleep, drink, think, plan and do wedding stuff 24 hours, 365 days a year. Planning for the dream wedding has overtaken their lives, and this even ranks way above what you’ve always thought were more important to them ( make-ups, dieting, gossiping etc).

When this happens, the only thing in their mind will be the wedding. They will be anxious, uptight, worried and extremely concerned (think irritable) about the wedding.
Typical conversations will go like this

Man (you): “Darling, what shall we eat tonight?”

Girl: “Oh food!! you think our guests will like sharks fin?”

Man: “Darling dear, I’m starved, can we talk about that later?”

Girl (sobbing): “I knew it….you never really wanted to marry me, now you don’t even want to talk about our wedding…….”

The above is just a mild illustration of what usually happens.

Why is there a wedding monster?

There has been many reasons created to justify why the wedding monster appears. Just to mention a few:

1) Girls are more detailed and therefore get more stressed about something as big as a wedding.

2) Girls are more prone to peer pressure. Have you watched high school musical? 

3) Most girls dreamed of marrying their Prince Charming since they watched their first Disney cartoon. Already, marrying you was a great deviation from the dream, at least they can try to make the wedding fitting for a princess

How to cope with a Wedding Monster

Here, I offer you the 3 tips for handling your Bridezilla

1) Listen, this is about her, not about you.

No matter what demands she makes, listen and nod. It does not mean you have to do everything. She herself will know when things are not affordable or ridiculous. For example, if she wants a 20K tattler wedding photographer, just listen and smile and nod. Then do nothing about it. Wait for a few days, she will naturally tell you we can’t afford it

2) Tell her you love her.

This is a time of great turbulence both in the inner soul and the external world. She is getting married to YOU. How scary is that. The least she needs to know is that you love her. So keep telling her you love her

3) Get a bunch of beer drinking buddy.

The honest truth buddy, is that life is full of trials. If you have chosen to marry, you are already down the dark path. Just willingly absorb all the stress and slaps and kicks and then go have a beer with some buddies. Trust me, you can get through this difficult time.

So all the best for your wedding. I hope it is fun. Sometimes, fantasies help to keeps us going.