The 7 Phrases of a highly effective husband

For the initiated man out there, did anyone ever tell you that the last “Yes” you will every hear from your girlfriend/wife is at the moment she says “Yes, I do”. Everything from then on is a “no”, “no,no”, no no no” and didn’t I tell you so.

That being said, out of honest pure love, we men would still want to be the best and most effective husbands any women would so desire. After all, even though the women know more than google, intrinsically they would still like the men to take lead. So here are the 7 Phrases that would save your life….errrm…i mean make your marriage life really wonderful.

Phrase 1: “Yes Dear”
Learn to say yes to everything. You have effectively lost all rights to say no to anything the moment you said Yes I do. So, from now till eternity, whatever she says, just say “Yes Dear”

Phrase 2: “You are right dear”
To be used when you are being ‘taught’ the wisdom of life. For example “you should..blah blah blah (fill in the blanks”. The answer will always be….”You are right dear”

Phrase 3: “ I am sorry dear”
Learn to use this phrase often. Well, someone famous once said that no man is perfect. I m certain out women know that. They only need you to acknowledge your mistake and say that you have learnt from you. This is something we knew how to do since we were in elementary school. So anytime you see her a little cross, just say “I am sorry dear”

Phrase 4: “You are the best dear”
Women like to ‘reward’ their men for their good behaviour. These includes making them dinner or praising them once in a blue moon. When that happens, be sure to praise them back with this phrase “you are the best dear”. Because if you don’t, you are likely to have to learn from your mistake by using phrase 3 again. 🙂

Phrase 5: “I only want to do what you want dear”
As you would know by now, females have their own need for space and personality. So they need to have time to catch up with their friends, go shopping and do some spa or manicure. As for men, all our habits are bad and evil by nature. So going to a pub, catching up with friends, playing computer games, all these are evil terrible activities that will destroy us. Therefore if she asks you what you might want to do or if you need anything, never say anything you want in your heart. Just tell her to choose. After all, she knows you best and will always choose the best for you.

Phrase 6: “That’s exactly what I am thinking too dear”
Since God made man first and somehow made him the head of the family, every women expect the man to lead. But because men are so stupid and so prone to behaving like kids, they cannot make wise decisions on their own. So if you make your own decision, you got to use phrase 3. But if you ask her to make decisions, then you are frustrating her because your are not leading the family like you should. So what do you do? The best thing to do is to find out what she wants, and decides exactly based on what she wants. It will seem as though you have decided, and yet you have decided based on the wisest decision (which is her decision). So use the phrase “That’s exactly what I am thinking too dear”

Phrase 7 “No dear”
What a sacrilegious term. Since when are men allowed to say no after marriage. Fear not, for there is a time for everything. Despite their immense wisdom, women are made to be humble. There will no doubt come a time when she will say that she has grown fat, or ugly or that her cooking is bad etc. That’s when you finally use the term “No dear”…..and add a sentence that is the exact opposite of what they just said. Example: “No dear, you are slim just like when I first met you”. And tada… peace.

So I have given you the secrets to a good marriage. The 7 phrases that you must learn to use. Don’t have to thank me for it, I am merely morally bound to share this with you. And btw please keep this a secret. I didn’t have any permission to think in this manner. Good luck.